My give a damn is busted

I am so tired of my daughters attitude and the way that she treats people! She is going to be in for a major rude awakening and I believe it started tonight. I took some pictures of her and her "non" boyfriend and she wanted to see them. I told her not to delete any of them b/c I really hadn't gotten to see them for myself and she said "I won't mom. Well what does she do?? She went and deleted them! I am so mad right now I can hardly stand it. I hate the fact that she is so disrepectful and basically don't give a damn about anyone but herself.  I am done catering to Kayla! I am , we went today and got her a membership to tanning and now I think we may cancel it. I bend over backwards for that girl and she doesn't even care one bit about me. I don't know what I am doing wrong as far as she is concerned. I am serioulsy thinking of not letting her have any priviledges at all. I took her cell phone away and I am really close to making her delete her myspace. I don't like how everyone can have such instant access to her as well as she to them. That I know is what has her messed up b/c all of the boys are commenting her and telling her how pretty she is and whatnot. I am not saying that doesn't make a girl feel good about herself, because of course it does, but it isn't fair to her "boyfriend" that she has this thinking process behind the things that she does. I am not going to put up with it anymore,  I don't know why I put up with that from her and I am not going to anymore. I am so sick of her it isnt funny. I am tired of her attitude and the way that she treats her brother, myself and her dad but especially her "boyfriend." My husband said something today that hit the nail on the head and she confirmed it by smiling when he said it. He said that she don't want him to have anyone else but she wants to be able to play the field. I guess I always knew this, I just didn't know how to put in into words exactly. She has this boy on a string and when she feels like it she will ask him to go places with her..like tonight, she had him come to the movie with us and then goes and disobeys a direct order from me right in front of him. she is a tease when it comes to him b/c she will flirt with him and then be like nooo I don't like him that way. What is this boy supposed to think? She is basically using him and when she don't want to be around him, treats him like crap.I can't stand this. I don't want a daughter that thinks it is ok to treat people this way, especailly a boy that loves her as much as Kenny does. It isnt' fair to him and he told me tonight that he doesn't like being used. I wish he would just kick her butt to the curb, serioulsy and maybe she will see what it feels like. Yes, my daughter is very pretty, but so what, who cares? She has a lot of boys that text her or put messages or comments on her myspace and it is ok to do that but it is not ok to hold someone on a string, it is wrong and it is going to stop. I don't even like my daughter right now at all. I can't stand her right now, I know that sounds bad but I don't give a damn right now...my give a damn is busted!

More Daughter drama

Once again I am dealing with Kayla drama in my life. She is driving me absolutely up the wall lately. It seems that all she does is lie and lie some more. I happen to know some things that are fact and she is trying to lie to me and tell me that I don't know what I am talking about, well I do and I got it straight from the horses mouth. She is up to her games again as far as her boyfriend is concerned. She twisted a break up to be his fault when she knew good and well that he wasn't the one that started it or wanted it. I guess when you hear "well maybe we should just be friends" or "maybe we need a break a long break" enough then you are bound to agree to with her. Well that is what happened, he sent a text agreeing with what she said and therefore is telling everyone that he broke up with her when she knows good and damn well that isn't the case. This boy is crazy nuts over her and she is just leading him on and it is starting to piss me off royally. On one hand she is telling her friends that he dumped her and that she hates him, while on the other hand she is flirting with him and calling him cute and everything. Well the other day he came to our house (we weren't home but I gave him permission to come) and brought her a letter and when he gave her the letter he leaned in and kissed her. Now according to her this was the one reason that she was upset with him and wanted the break b/c he was too chicken to kiss her, well he did it and I am so proud of him! But now Kayla is once again playing with this boys heart. She says things to piss me off too like talking about other boys that are soo cute and blah blah, she does this b/c she knows that it gets to me. I need to stop letting things get to me so much and learn to pick my battles I guess. I told her that if she didn't want this boy then to let him go, totally let him go and not text him or anything anymore and she won't do it. She is still texting him and flirting with him and giving the poor boy mixed signals, I feel bad for him b/c he has no clue from one day to the next what she is going to be like and that isn't fair to him. I have tried to tell him that maybe he should move on but he isn't budging, I think he loves her. I think she is falling for him and is too scared about what that means, but then again that could be my wishful thinking too. She treats him crappy most of the time, two weeks ago we go away for Momentum and the whole time she treated him like he was beneath her. She was mad b/c there were other cute boys and she didn't get to flirt. Oh well too bad! She seriously needs to do some major growing up and soon! Like I said I really like this boy and he is everything that she has been looking for (she has a list) and last night she is smelling her hoodie and looked disapointed b/c his cologne smell was gone. I don't know how to read to her. On one hand I think she enjoys having a boyfriend and on the other hand I think she enjoys being single. Well I am not going to put up with this much longer for sure, she is going to make up her mind or else her dad and I will make it up for her and if we do that then she won't be dating anyone for a long time. She has some major maturing to do!! Until the next drama...

Her life to live

Once again, I have no idea what is going on with my daughter. Her boyfriend and his parents have invited her to go to Chicago with them for a weekend in Feb and she doesn't want to go. She told me it is because she don't like his parents but to be honest she doesn't even know them and this is a perfect opportunity to get to know them. I am afraid that she is going to blow this relationship if she isn't careful and some other will girl will grab him that will appreciate him and everything that he does. He is an excellent boyfriend as far as I am concerned and he knows that he needs to break down some walls that she has built around herself and I think this may be a very difficult thing for him to do. I believe that she likes this boy but now she is panicking and thinking that it is forever instead of learning to relax and have fun. This trip would be the perfect opportunity for her to do so but she is going to say no. This makes me frustrated but she is who she is and no one can change her. Her boyfriend told me not to make her come and I won't but I did encourage her to go but if she don't want to then she dont and  there is nothing that I can do about it.  I need to let her live her own life and if she blows the best thing that has ever happened to her then I guess she blows it. I think that she will regret it later though. When others go after her boyfriend or ex, she will realize that she had it really good with him. I told her that she needed to give this relationship a fighting chance like give it a few months to get to know him and see where it goes. Will she? I highly doubt it. But it is her life to live and I am staying out of it!

Time will tell once more

I have no idea what is wrong with my daughter. She is so stupid sometimes. She has this boy that is crazy is over her and she seems to be him as well. The problem is that once Kayla gets a boyfriend, she tires of them pretty quickly. I don't know what it is exactly that makes he to do this but she seems to be headed in that direction yet again. I saw a text conversation that she was having with one of her girlfriends that moved away and it basically said that she was sick of Kenny and that she thinks she is going to dump him. My daughter can be such a stuck up snot sometimes and the way that she treats boys is absolutely appalling. I don't know if she is really serious about it but perhaps she is. I hope she lets this boy down easy though b/c he has been hurt before. She says that there are so many other boys that are cute/cuter out there but she doesn't realize that most of those boys are out for one thing and one thing only. I don't think she knows what a gem she has in this boy and I am afraid that she is going to push this one away, as she has done others and regret it. I sorta tried to warn him that this is the way that she gets. Just a couple days ago she is like "I miss Kenny, I like him so much you don't even know. " So what has changed in just a couple days? I have no idea. I think that maybe she thinks if she says those things that it makes her look cool in front of her friends or something, well it doesn't b/c she is going to get a name for herself and no one is going to want to date her. She has this one boy that is her friend and that really likes her but she only likes him as a friend and yesterday she says to me" I feel so sorry for Jeremy" blah blah blah, I asked her if she considered him more than a friend and she said "no, definitely not" and I said you have a boyfriend so let it go and she is like "i know but i feel so bad"  I asked her last night if she and kenny were fighting and she said no why, i said well i thought that you were going to ask him to come tonight for revival and pizza, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut b/c she knows I that I like him and I made the mistake of getting close with one of her ex boyfriends and it about killed me when they broke up. I don't want this same thing to happen this time around. She is saying things like "he is getting on my nerves" or things like that and I know that she is  only trying to get a rise out of me. Well I am not going to give her the satisfaction. When she has said those things I am ignoring her. I hope she realizes what she has before she goes and blows it again. It is weird b/c she really likes someone and then gets them and then don't like them anymore. I think this boy may be on to her game though, b/c I have sorta warned him about how she can be. I know that he gives her plenty of space and lets her be her own person. That should be enough but sadly it isn't. She doesn't even want him to come to her basketball games, on this I can undestand a bit b/c her teammates don't pass her the ball but if it were me I think that I would want my boyfriend to come to my games. But oh well. I guess he will get sick of her games soon enough and knowing him the way I do he won't put up with any of the bull that she dishes out like the other one did for so long. Then one day he was done with her and the whole deal. So I am just going to bite my tongue and if she wants to invite him over or go places with him then she is going to have to ask me b/c I will not be the one to bring it up that is for sure. He did come with us to dinner and revival on Sunday, what could have happened in 4 days for her to change her mind about him or is this just something that she is saying to her friends to make herself look good? Even though it makes her look mean and stuckup?? Well time will tell I guess. Til next time.

Frustration

Well the holidays are finally over. Praise The Lord!! We ended up having a fine Christmas but I just cannot stand all the stress that we were under. I am still under a lot of stress because Jon is still not back to work and it doesn't look like he is going to anytime soon. They are saying possibly in the middle of Feb now. Geesh, I wish things were different around here. I am so stressed out and when I get stressed I tend to get mean. I know that I need to not take things so personally and I am trying to relax and let things fall where they may. I just need some change. I am tired of all the same ol same all the time. I need something different. I am about ready to pull out my hair. I need to find a job, Jon needs a job, we need a new house and I need money. I need to be able to pay bills, buy groceries ect. I just need something new and something different. I am only taking 6 credits this next semester so I can find a job and help support my family. I know that Jon does his best but sometimes his best is not good enough. He tends to settle for things and he seems to like things the way that they are, I don't. I need something new, I really don't know what that new thing is but I know that I definitely need something new and something to perhaps get excited about. Perhaps a new hobby? A new job? who knows what it will be but I hope it happens soon so I can be happier. I am not happy and I tend to take things out on others. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be content? I am so discontented that is is sickening. I guess I am just tired of the same old routine, I need something exciting to add a little spice to my life. I need to start being thankful for the things that I have and I do thank God for them but sometimes I just get this poor, poor pitiful me attitude and I think that is Satan's way of tempting me. I really want some joy in my life. I want the joy that God says should be mine everyday. I know that doesn't mean joy always means happy and I need to remember that. I really crave this joy that the bible talks about.  

Merry Christmas to all of you!

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Just blogging

Wow, mother nature sure dropped the white stuff on us in the middle of the night. We woke up today to no school and around 9 or 10 inches of snow. My husband is still out working in this mess. I have no idea when he will be home but he has been gone since before 6 this morning. The dog got away today and Parker had to go and search for her. I don't think Maggie knows what to do with all this snow, well neither do we really. Michigan weather is very unprictable. This winter it has been super wierd but super cold. 

We took a little trip to Frankenmuth the other day to look at the lights and go out to eat. Kayla brought along her new boy "friend." His name is Kenny and he seems really nice. He is a Christian and that makes me happy. Kayla said that they are not "dating" but she went sledding with him on Sat, he came to movie night at church with her on Sunday, he went with us to Frankenmuth on Tues, back to church with us on Wed, I know that they are planning on hanging out again this weekend sometime and Monday she is going with him to his youth group's Christmas party, but they are not dating??? seems like they are to me, but whatever they want to call it, I call it dating. She seems to really like him too. They talk and text all the time, so I guess we will see where it all leads. But her dad and I like him so perhaps that may be his undoing as far as kayla is concerned. It is weird because she usually doesn't like it when we like her "friends" but this time I am staying out of her relationship. I learned my lesson the last time and I will not repeat my mistakes again.