Her life to live

Once again, I have no idea what is going on with my daughter. Her boyfriend and his parents have invited her to go to Chicago with them for a weekend in Feb and she doesn't want to go. She told me it is because she don't like his parents but to be honest she doesn't even know them and this is a perfect opportunity to get to know them. I am afraid that she is going to blow this relationship if she isn't careful and some other will girl will grab him that will appreciate him and everything that he does. He is an excellent boyfriend as far as I am concerned and he knows that he needs to break down some walls that she has built around herself and I think this may be a very difficult thing for him to do. I believe that she likes this boy but now she is panicking and thinking that it is forever instead of learning to relax and have fun. This trip would be the perfect opportunity for her to do so but she is going to say no. This makes me frustrated but she is who she is and no one can change her. Her boyfriend told me not to make her come and I won't but I did encourage her to go but if she don't want to then she dont and  there is nothing that I can do about it.  I need to let her live her own life and if she blows the best thing that has ever happened to her then I guess she blows it. I think that she will regret it later though. When others go after her boyfriend or ex, she will realize that she had it really good with him. I told her that she needed to give this relationship a fighting chance like give it a few months to get to know him and see where it goes. Will she? I highly doubt it. But it is her life to live and I am staying out of it!

Time will tell once more

I have no idea what is wrong with my daughter. She is so stupid sometimes. She has this boy that is crazy is over her and she seems to be him as well. The problem is that once Kayla gets a boyfriend, she tires of them pretty quickly. I don't know what it is exactly that makes he to do this but she seems to be headed in that direction yet again. I saw a text conversation that she was having with one of her girlfriends that moved away and it basically said that she was sick of Kenny and that she thinks she is going to dump him. My daughter can be such a stuck up snot sometimes and the way that she treats boys is absolutely appalling. I don't know if she is really serious about it but perhaps she is. I hope she lets this boy down easy though b/c he has been hurt before. She says that there are so many other boys that are cute/cuter out there but she doesn't realize that most of those boys are out for one thing and one thing only. I don't think she knows what a gem she has in this boy and I am afraid that she is going to push this one away, as she has done others and regret it. I sorta tried to warn him that this is the way that she gets. Just a couple days ago she is like "I miss Kenny, I like him so much you don't even know. " So what has changed in just a couple days? I have no idea. I think that maybe she thinks if she says those things that it makes her look cool in front of her friends or something, well it doesn't b/c she is going to get a name for herself and no one is going to want to date her. She has this one boy that is her friend and that really likes her but she only likes him as a friend and yesterday she says to me" I feel so sorry for Jeremy" blah blah blah, I asked her if she considered him more than a friend and she said "no, definitely not" and I said you have a boyfriend so let it go and she is like "i know but i feel so bad"  I asked her last night if she and kenny were fighting and she said no why, i said well i thought that you were going to ask him to come tonight for revival and pizza, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut b/c she knows I that I like him and I made the mistake of getting close with one of her ex boyfriends and it about killed me when they broke up. I don't want this same thing to happen this time around. She is saying things like "he is getting on my nerves" or things like that and I know that she is  only trying to get a rise out of me. Well I am not going to give her the satisfaction. When she has said those things I am ignoring her. I hope she realizes what she has before she goes and blows it again. It is weird b/c she really likes someone and then gets them and then don't like them anymore. I think this boy may be on to her game though, b/c I have sorta warned him about how she can be. I know that he gives her plenty of space and lets her be her own person. That should be enough but sadly it isn't. She doesn't even want him to come to her basketball games, on this I can undestand a bit b/c her teammates don't pass her the ball but if it were me I think that I would want my boyfriend to come to my games. But oh well. I guess he will get sick of her games soon enough and knowing him the way I do he won't put up with any of the bull that she dishes out like the other one did for so long. Then one day he was done with her and the whole deal. So I am just going to bite my tongue and if she wants to invite him over or go places with him then she is going to have to ask me b/c I will not be the one to bring it up that is for sure. He did come with us to dinner and revival on Sunday, what could have happened in 4 days for her to change her mind about him or is this just something that she is saying to her friends to make herself look good? Even though it makes her look mean and stuckup?? Well time will tell I guess. Til next time.

Frustration

Well the holidays are finally over. Praise The Lord!! We ended up having a fine Christmas but I just cannot stand all the stress that we were under. I am still under a lot of stress because Jon is still not back to work and it doesn't look like he is going to anytime soon. They are saying possibly in the middle of Feb now. Geesh, I wish things were different around here. I am so stressed out and when I get stressed I tend to get mean. I know that I need to not take things so personally and I am trying to relax and let things fall where they may. I just need some change. I am tired of all the same ol same all the time. I need something different. I am about ready to pull out my hair. I need to find a job, Jon needs a job, we need a new house and I need money. I need to be able to pay bills, buy groceries ect. I just need something new and something different. I am only taking 6 credits this next semester so I can find a job and help support my family. I know that Jon does his best but sometimes his best is not good enough. He tends to settle for things and he seems to like things the way that they are, I don't. I need something new, I really don't know what that new thing is but I know that I definitely need something new and something to perhaps get excited about. Perhaps a new hobby? A new job? who knows what it will be but I hope it happens soon so I can be happier. I am not happy and I tend to take things out on others. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be content? I am so discontented that is is sickening. I guess I am just tired of the same old routine, I need something exciting to add a little spice to my life. I need to start being thankful for the things that I have and I do thank God for them but sometimes I just get this poor, poor pitiful me attitude and I think that is Satan's way of tempting me. I really want some joy in my life. I want the joy that God says should be mine everyday. I know that doesn't mean joy always means happy and I need to remember that. I really crave this joy that the bible talks about.